and very much WIP!
I feel like when most of the online discussions go wrong, it's because people are talking past each other. They're not having a debate (also why do so many things need to be debates? why do we think that being on the internet gives us a constant right to challenge everything we say? imagine doing that in the real world), they're having an argument with a version of an opponent projected onto another face. There's some irony in that picture, because ultimately those people created that imaginary opponent and are arguing with themselves.
I think when most go wrong it's when people are talking past each other, using the definitions of the thing that suits them.